I was not Raptured up to heaven last night, and so far I have not seen any signs that anyone else was either. I suppose it's possible that this is just because I am in Massachusetts, where I believe there are more Liberals and union members than in some other places, so I'll be checking the news from around the Internet to be sure that other places with more true believers have not experienced Rapture.
Jehovah's witness at door: Don't you want to go to heaven?
Me: Not if it's with a bunch of Jehovah's witnesses.
I think you did better in Hyannis.
No Rapture in Ohio. Only 700 were going to survive it and I'm pretty sure I wouldn't be on the short list.
An old friend said: I wouldn't to go to heaven -- I won't know anybody there. I think I agree.
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